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COW THEORY


If you are a 

DEMOCRAT:
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none.
 You fell guilty for being successful.
You vote people into office that put a tax on your cows,
forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax.
The people you voted for then takes the tax money,
buys a cow and gives it to your neighbor.
You fell righteous. Barbara Streisand sings you a song.


REPUBLICAN:
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?


SOCIALIST:

You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.


COMMUNIST:

You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.


CAPITALISM - AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.


DEMOCRACY - AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two cows.
The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both
 to support a man in a foreign country who only has one cow,
which was a gift from you government..


BUREAUCRACY - AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two cows.
The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, 
pays you for the milk, and them pours the milk down the drain.

  AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself
and do an IPO on the 2nd cow.
You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
You spend an announcement to the analysis stating
you have downsized
 and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch. Life is good.


JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an original cow
and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievable crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.


GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blood, drink lots of beer,
give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.


ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows but you donít know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful women.
You break for lunch. Life is good.


RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
You produce your tenth, 5-year plan in the past 3 months.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.


TALIBAN CORPORATION:
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You donít milk them because you cannot touch any creatureís private parts.


POLISH CORPORATION:
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.


FLORIDA CORPORATION:
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither.
Some people canít figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the best-looking one.


NEW YORK CORPORATION:
You have fifteen million cows.
You have to choose which one will be the leader of the herd,
so you pick some dumb cow from Arkansas named Hillary.
 

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Member of the Santa Gertrudis Breeders International
Member of the Mid-Coast Santa Gertrudis Association
Member of the Premier Santa Gertrudis Association
Member of the Lone Star Santa Gertrudis Association
Member of the South Texas Santa Gertrudis Association
Member of the Alamo Santa Gertrudis Association
Member of the Polled Santa Gertrudis Association  


Our main goal at the K3 Ranch is to consistently produce
 quality Santa Gertrudis show heifers, quality Santa Gertrudis replacement heifers, 
quality Santa Gertrudis replacement bulls, quality Santa Gertrudis Herd Sire's
 and Santa Gertrudis semen for sale.
To achieve this goal we A/I our show quality Santa Gertrudis heifers to some of the best Santa
Gertrudis Bulls available. We only keep the best in our program to achieve this goal.


Copyright 1998  K3 Ranch.
Site maintained by KCS Computer Service.


The Santa Gertrudis was the first breed developed in the Western Hemisphere.
Experimental crossbreeding of the Brahman and Shorthorn cattle
began on the Santa Gertrudis Division of the King Ranch.
In 1920 an outstanding bull calf called "Monkey" was produced. Highly potent,
he became the foundation sire of the Santa Gertrudis breed.
 Through many generations his descendant shave retained the rapid and efficient growth,
solid red color, hardiness, and good disposition for which "Monkey" was noted.
The United States Department of Agriculture recognized the Santa Gertrudis as a distinct breed in 1940.